Have you ever wondered what is the #1 secret to learning how to satisfy woman in bed?
I hope so…
Because this guide is for men who want to go from good to great in their sexual lives and possibly transform their existing relationships with great sex.
And yes, you’ll learn EXACTLY how to make a girl cum and give her incredible orgasms every time.
If you are looking for super actionable and practical advice on how to please a woman in bed WITHOUT any macho and woo-woo talk — this is for you!
Disclaimer: this article is NOT on how to find a partner. I presume you already have a girlfriend, wife or at least a girl you’re seeing and have sexual contact with.
Is This Guy For Real? Let Me Tell You My Story:
I’m a 30-year-old man.
I’m in happy relationships and we live together for 1.5 years. Before implementing what I’m about to share, we were doing OK.
Not bad, not great.
But there was a lack of excitement and fun in our sex life.
We usually had sex on weekends 1–2x/week (4–6x/mo).
On workdays, we were tired, not much action.
My own challenge was Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED) which came from watching porn a few times a week.
I have written my full 99 day no fap story here, if you’re interested.
There were times when I couldn’t perform and stay hard long enough during the sex. It wasn’t very bad, but I felt horrible when I couldn’t perform, especially because my girl has an incredible body and I love her so much.
That’s why I set out to fix my porn and fapping addiction.
I spent months digging deep into forums, articles, books, and courses to find answers.
I didn’t just want to fix my addiction — I wanted to transform our love life and be able to give the orgasms of her life.
To work on my PIED issue, I stopped with the porn and started doing daily Kegel exercises.
I saw slow, constant improvement until one day we made love and she was the loudest I’ve ever hard… and orgasmed 3x.
A few months later she orgasmed 6x during 1.5-hour long sex session and told me it was one of the best sex in her life (it was a surprise, I wasn’t even trying too hard!).
Seemingly overnight our sex life was transformed!
I’ve compiled all the best orgasmic secrets I’ve learned and battle-tested (hihi) and laid them out here step-by-step, so you can implement them right away!
How would it feel to you if you could give her the best sex of her life?
Make her initiate sex because of how good you make her feel every time?
This is what happened to me, and I don’t see why you couldn’t repeat the same results with this step by step guide!
Before we jump in let’s debunk some myths that are just wrong:
3 Myths That Men Think About Women’s Arousal That AREN’T True
#1 Assuming Women Come From Intercourse
Women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
#2 Assuming What You See In
Porn Happens In Real Life
Have you ever seen a model before any makeup and Photoshop has been applied?
Porn is the same way.
It sets unrealistic expectations and creates wrong assumptions.
The best thing you could do is to stop porn whatsoever and join NoFap movement.
Stopping porn alone fixed my sexual drive and erectile dysfunction in one week! I suddenly found my girlfriend as attractive as if we were making love for the first time. Try it!
#3 Assuming Women Experience Sex Same As You
Actually, if you think opposite you’ll be closer to reality.
A few examples:
- Guys need to increase speed to cum. Women need consistent, rhythmic pressure to orgasm!
- Guys are visual and need to see the sexy view to get aroused. Women are aroused emotionally in their brains first. They need foreplay (but don’t worry, there is a hack to this ;))
- Guys need only genital area rubbed to become aroused. For women, their whole body is one big erogenous zone.
Looks like a meme — funny, but it’s true.
You must understand that women are completely different from us, guys.
When you understand this, you’ll look at pleasuring woman as a learnable skill and be able to transform yourself into a great lover overnight.
Now When You Know What Not To Do, What About DO’s?
Glad you asked.
This guide is separated into three naturally evolving parts.
- Foreplay: Non-touching arousal
- Play: Touching arousal
- Climax: OrgasmOrgasmOrgasm
First, let’s learn how to arouse the biggest erogenous zone in her body — the brain:
#1 — Foreplay: How To Make A Woman Horny For You WITHOUT Even Touching Her
It’s actually easier to arouse a girl than you think (or I thought).
You just need to initiate the process and she’ll do the rest.
There are a few ways you can do it:
Set intention in the morning before she leaves.
If you live together before saying goodbye — whisper in her ear how to find her extremely delicious and how that ass of hers drives you absolutely crazy.
This will plant a seed in her mind. ?
Text or call her in the middle of the day.
Send her sexy tests telling how you are craving for her and fantasising of her body. Make her feel beautiful and sexy, let her know how sexually delicious she is in your eyes.
It’s also nice to just give her small, surprise gifts from time to time. Here’s a good resource on it: https://giftpundits.com/birthday-gifts-for-her/
For text ideas, just Google “kinky quotes to say to your girlfriend”.
When she arrives in the evening, think:
SEDUCTION. PASSION. MASCULINITY.
Here’s how it could look like, just so you get the vibe:
Greet her with a passionate kiss, hug her and maybe even grab her butt before letting her put her things down.
Later as you move through the evening — keep flirting with her. Give her dirty looks, put on sexy music (here’s playlist you can use) and maintain the vibe.
Optional (Prepare something special for the evening):
- light some candles
- order in the food. You can eat on the floor for a change.
- have a slow dance with her. The simplest way to do it is just to hug her and slowly move around. Just be gentle, soft and present…it’s basically a dancing hug (like gif below)
- blindfold her and have ice cubes ready to slide over her body
- take a bath or shower together
- give her a massage (massage tips video)
However, if you do only one thing — focus on sexual talks.
Often just talking about past sexual experiences, fantasies, and desires is enough to create a lot of arousals. You can also read together Reddit Sex stories if you need some ideas to discuss ?
When we did this, I wasn’t even the one who initiated the sexual transition!
She was the one impatient!
#2 — Play: Build Up The Tension, Undress Her & Learn The Art Of Sensual Touch
OK, she’s aroused and interested, but still dressed.
Time for Part 2!
The key to this part is to touch her everywhere EXCEPT her pussy area.
You’ll ignore it for as long as you can… and it will make her crazy.
Your goal is to get her so horny, that she will beg you to keep going further.
Start by kissing her with intention — look in her eyes, drink her in, be fully present.
Move on to kiss her neck, touch her body and with each round gently remove one piece of her clothing.
Go back to kissing her, biting her ear, grabbing the back of her head, and of course… remove another piece of clothing.
Mix things up as you go — you can bite, lick, suck.
Be creative and gentle.
One ninja trick to use is a feather-light touch.
Move your fingers over her skin with a light touch and you’ll make her tremble with delight:
A cool move to do is to start the light touch from her neck, slowly going down, passing her breasts, belly button and then barely missing her pussy and going down the leg.
Go up the same way, just barely missing her pussy like it didn’t exist.
This will make her so aroused!
As you experiment with touch, notice her body language.
Every woman is different and touching some body parts will make her shiver with joy more than others. It’s up to you to discover her top erogenous zones.
Here are some common areas that you could start with:
- neck, touch her scalp on the back of the head, pull softly
- behind her ears..or bite the ears, just try not to make noises when doing it ?
- look in her eyes and give her sexy, desired looks
- joints are very good bits — think: wrists, knees, elbows
- breasts — don’t pounce on them, be gentle, rub all over, be playful
- inner thighs and her butt are especially delicious parts
You can also pull her hair from the back, put her hands behind. be gently dominant allowing her to let go and surrender. There is a reason why so many women love 50 Shades of Grey. ?
Keep going till the only piece of clothing left on her is her panties.
Just remember to:
Have fun and enjoy the process!
Did you know 90% of female orgasm issues come from performance anxiety? Well, and guys have erectile dysfunction (ED) because of stress too.
Set her at ease by commenting her on body parts you find sexy and attractive. If you can — make some Mmmm…masculine groans of pleasure.
This way you’ll remove the pressure from her to orgasm or fake it.
Yes, we want her to experience orgasm, but it’s NOT about the goal.
It’s the journey.
Timewise this part shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes. After you undressed her and made her really horny and wet, it’s time to slowly focus on her pussy or to call it correctly — her vulva.
The best position to do this is when she’s laying down on her back and you are beside her on top. This is the easiest way to access her vulva and be with her at the same time.
Like this, but with the girl laying down and you are on the side.
Also, it’s far easier to pleasure her with your fingers, giving cunnilingus requires a little bit more practice.
#3 — Climax: How To Finger A Woman & Make Her Orgasm
Every modern man should know at least the basics of woman’s anatomy.
It’s important to know that woman’s WHOLE vulva is very sensitive.
It’s not just the infamous G-spot and clitoris. Yes, there will be time for that, but not from the start.
Now what we want to do is to massage all around her vulva, as indicated by the grey circle in the picture below EXCEPT the clitoris area (red rectangle):
Explore down there ? It’s fun and rewarding! ?
You’ll still ignore her glans, shaft of the clitoris, hood area as long as you can.
Think of this as foreplay for the clit.
By massaging all around her vulva, you’ll make the area there so much more sensitive. Do that for around 1–2 min.
IMPORTANT: Make sure it’s wet down there. You can use your own saliva or get a simple water based lube.
Sliquid Sassy lubricant is the most recommended among wide range of lovers.
It’s handy to have lube handy just in case.
OK, now it’s time to focus on that red triangle (in the picture), her clitoris area and get her to orgasm.
Start gently massaging around her clitoris in the circular motion.
Again, make sure it’s nicely wet there.
Keep experimenting with different movements:
- a wide circular motion
- up and down
- diagonal up and down motion
- making bigger and smaller circles.
Keep experimenting with pressure. Start softer and then slowly increase the pressure.
Pay attention to her body language and the noises she makes. Once you find something that really arouses her, she will let you know.
Once you feel it.
- Stop experimenting.
- Just keep doing what you did.
- Keep the same rhythm and pressure.
You just might make her orgasm in 1–2 minutes.
If you feel that her arousal is not increasing after around 1 min, then you can increase the pressure and speed up a little until she again makes stronger noises and trembles.
Sometimes she will fix your hand herself and show you the most pleasurable movement you can do. Make sure you listen and play along!
Note: In the past, my mistake was to pull the hood up to expose clitoris. Now I know clitoris is way too sensitive. It has 8,000 nerve endings and hood actually protects it.
If you did things right, she will orgasm quickly… ?
The whole 3-stage process should take no more than 15 min.
To always have a happy woman, make sure you:
ALWAYS get her to come first.
Ladies can come again and again. Use it! ?
By making her come first, you will solve a lot of sex issues like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction (if you have them).
You’ll remove pressure from yourself to perform and because of that ironically will probably perform much better!
Bonus: Use Sex Toys To Spice It Up And Make Her Orgasms GUARANTEED
Sex toys are awesome way to quickly mix things up and outsource the hard work.
The foreplay is still crucial, but for the actual work… toys are awesome aids.
I believe that both techniques and toys have their own space to work together.
For example, during the foreplay I would use a rabbit vibrating dildo on her while she would be giving me a blowjob (insanely hot) or do these while on a sex sofa to make it even spicier.
Almost felt like there’s another person added to the mix. Novelty skyrocketing ?
Here are the toys I think everyone should have:
Get The Multi-Purpose Dildo & Vibrator In One.
Remember the sexy dildo story?
This is what I used. In my case, I didn’t use the vibrations or even those rabbit ears. They would make the experience too intense.
Instead, I just used the dildo without vibrations and made use of that angle. I rubbed her clit myself.
Amazing investment to blow girl minds (find more on Lovehoney here) ;)That’s the beauty with this thing. Other time we would use one of many vibrations settings and even play with those rabbit ears.
It’s made from silicone and will last you a long time (please avoid any toxic materials like TPE, PVC…etc.).
Dildo like this can be a great aid if you have troubles lasting long enough or making her orgasm.
This thing will do most of the work, while you will still be driving it! Then once she has calmed down a bit, it’s time for you to join in action ?
Jaz Or Heart Sex Wedge For Toe-Curling Pleasure & Perfect Angles
This is the best invention since sliced bread. Seriously.
I cannot count how many times, sex was ruined when I somehow painfully hit her vagina walls. It ruined her arousal, and it ruined mine.
Sex wedges give the perfect angle to expose her G-spot without any effort.
You can fuck her hard with that angle without EVER worrying about hurting her.
I was blown away how simple angle made so much difference.
How To Make A Girl Orgasm Again And Again
After she had orgasmed for the first time you can proceed with the intercourse and in few minutes you can massage her clit again ?
Just don’t forget to enjoy yourself!!!
Yes, it’s important not to be selfish, but a great man has fun himself too.
Chances are your woman also will be far more aroused from you having fun because of the mirror neurons. Have you noticed how you get aroused, when she orgasms?
Well, the same thing happens to women! Win/Win!
Mix things up!
Take her harder a bit, mix in some rougher moves — pull her by the hair, grab her butt real hard or change the position where you can have a super sexy view… ?
Then just go back to some light touch, massage her vulva and clit again to get her to orgasm one more time.
Repeat this as long as you want (and can).
Depends on the girl, but you should be able to quite easily get her to orgasm 2–3x!
Obviously, there’s a lot more to make a woman come again and again…
Let’s not kid ourselves!
To think that something she can do twice as fast by using a vibrator makes us the modern day Casanova is frankly: stupid.
But it’s the basics…!
And it will already make you better than average Joe.
Let’s finish it of… with how to finish the love-making session the right way:
Cuddle after lovemaking
After you stop, make sure you stay there and cuddle with her for extra 10 minutes.
Ladies are much different from guys again. Guys just want to roll over and lay, but ladies love extra cuddling afterward because they calm down much slower.
You do this and she’ll be addicted to you.
She won’t be able to wait for the next time and she’ll be the one to initiate!
It’s pretty amazing — I saw it happen in my own relationships.
This article was reproduced from Sexual Alpha.
Author: Dainis Graveris (With over 2 year experience working in a local adult toy store Dainis has gathered quite a bit of experience about helping people find the best for their needs. He’s also a top writer on Quora (7M views, 2.3K followers) and has written over 70+ guides on SexualAlpha)