Parents often don’t understand their children. It’s hard for them to understand why their children chat with their friends instead of going out with them or why they choose 22Bet Ethiopia betting instead of visiting a real football match.
But such behavior doesn’t make adults stop talking to their parents. They still can get in touch, using these 8 tips.
Don’t Treat Communication With Parents as a Duty
Communicating with parents – especially if it involves negative emotions – is much harder for adult children to accept if they treat it as a duty.
Here it is important to remember that no one decides whether to be born or not, and to be “indebted” to someone, you have to borrow something from someone or ask for it on your own initiative.
All obligations in this sense are incumbent upon man himself, or they are incumbent upon him by his own love (which makes sense). So you are free to choose how to communicate with your loved ones.
While some parents may be overly intrusive with their children, many parents, on the other hand, are afraid to bother anyone. At a certain age, they may begin to feel their society is unwanted, and they are unnecessary in your life.
To help them overcome this feeling, don’t wait for them to call you themselves, get ahead of them: call and visit them on your own initiative. When parents feel their importance to you, they will be calmer, and there will be much less cause for conflict, you can be sure.
Don’t “Write off” Parents in Advance
The most important thing parents need is your attention and sincere participation in their lives. Try to consult with them, worry about their affairs, and involve them in communication. All of this makes for a rich parent’s life.
At the same time, if you see that they do not have their own interests and hobbies, try to organize their leisure time, get them interested in something, and then the increased attention to you (if there is such) will weaken, and it will be easier to live not only for them, but also for yourself.
Give Less Negative News
With age, people have a fear of life because they themselves are no longer able to influence it significantly. So, some of the problems become unsolvable and cause older parents serious difficulties and stress.
They are especially frustrated by their children’s problems because they can no longer assist in solving the difficult situation. This, in turn, makes them feel powerless.
If you do not want your parents to be in a similar state, try to shield them from too traumatic news.
Don’t Try to Re-educate Parents
As children grow up and parents get older, the disposition of forces in the family begins to change. The older generation becomes limited in their abilities, while the younger generation, on the other hand, is just getting into the swing of things.
Elderly parents may be less knowledgeable than you about many things, and they may need your help in dealing with difficult situations, just as you needed theirs once upon a time. But never take advantage of this and assert your authority over them, as if they – unsophisticated children. You can never remake your parents.
Don’t settle scores with them for childhood traumas and resentments – they are adults, and they must be accepted for who they are, if you choose to keep in touch with them.
Allow Them to Take Care of Themselves
Parents’ anxious calls and treating you like a child (“Are you sure you’ve packed your suitcase and put everything you need?”) can be annoying, and that’s fine.
But you shouldn’t let your emotions run wild. The phrase that children for parents are children at any age is a fact. This way they also allow themselves to feel their own strength and importance.
Be Understanding, but Never Let Yourself Be Manipulated
With age people often deteriorate character – it’s no secret. This is primarily due to the fact that a person becomes weaker purely physically – it becomes more fragile, susceptible to various diseases.
Besides, an elderly person is much less flexible in a psychological sense than a young one. So be surprised at the parents’ changed behavior – try to understand and accept them, without, however, allowing themselves to be manipulated.
The important quality of being able not to resent our parents for their misdeeds. No country in the world had a better parenting school in their day and they raised us as best they could by intuition and tried to be good more often than not. But if things didn’t work out, they are now very sorry. And you will definitely understand how they feel when you have your own kids.